Hybristophilia: Not Just a Knack for Bad Boys

Don’t we all have a soft spot for the bad guy, at least the one on screen? For most, it ends there, but some take it a step further: They begin to develop very real feelings for murderers and convicted criminals. But what is behind this unusual attraction? And what else is there to know about the phenomenon called “hybristophilia”? Let’s dive deep into the psyche of women attracted to criminals.

In this article…

• Passion or Paraphilia? Defining Hybristophilia
• Origins of the Obsession: What causes Hybristophilia?
• From Causes to Cases: Famous Hybristophiliacs
• Of Joker & Harley Quinn: Hybristophilia in Pop Culture
• The Reality of Hybristophilia (And What We Don’t Know)

Passion or Paraphilia? Defining Hybristophilia

Derived from the Greek words “hubrizein” – committing an outrage against someone – and “philia” – an abnormal liking for something – hybristophilia refers to sexual attraction towards those who commit crimes. It describes a rare form of paraphilia, meaning an atypical sexual preference, but the exact definition and differentiation to similar phenomena are vague. Often used synonymously for women who fall in love with convicted criminals, the term first appeared in a paper from sexologist John Money in 1986.

Interestingly, most people with hybristophilia are women who feel attracted to men. While certainly an unusual preference, it should be noted that hybristophilia is not a formally recognized diagnosis. 

Of Passive and Aggressive Hybristophilia

Also known as “Bonnie and Clyde syndrome”, hybristophilia is categorized into two forms: passive and aggressive. Passive hybristophilia refers to an attraction to criminals without any desire to participate in their (often heinous) crimes. Aggressive hybristophilia, on the other hand, goes a step further: mere proximity to the criminal is not enough, and individuals want to actively engage in criminal activities themselves.

Origins of the Obsession: What causes Hybristophilia?

As with all atypical behaviours and preferences, the key question is always: what causes it? And as usual, the answer is not straightforward. Because hybristophilia is a rather uncommon phenomenon, science has not widely researched it. In addition, affected individuals may prefer not to openly disclose or discuss their hybristophilia due to social stigma – with some exceptions, which we will cover later. This makes statistical and scientific evaluation even more challenging. There are however certain factors and motivations associated with hybristophilia.

The Questionably Perfect Partner

While a convicted murderer behind bars may seem like an unlikely choice for most, those with hybristophilia see it differently. Setting aside obvious factors such as the crime and questionable moral values, some people may still find certain aspects appealing.

Their object of desire is, at least theoretically, unable to meet other women, offering almost guaranteed fidelity. The limited distractions in prison allow them to focus completely on their partner on the outside, who – in return – always knows their whereabouts. In a sense, this gives those with hybristophilia a deep feeling of control.

Hybristophilia and a Sense of Control

Being in control is also at the core of another suspected cause. Various studies have found a correlation between childhood and relationship trauma and hybristophilia. While the affected individuals were once the ones being controlled, the tables turn when their object of desire is imprisoned. They now have the power to decide when to write, call, or visit, giving them the upper hand in the relationship.

The Rush of the (Controlled) Risk

The very opposite of a desire for control could be another reason for hybristophilia. For those on the hunt for an adrenaline rush, an intimate relationship with a murderer might seem like the ultimate thrill. Being close to someone who has killed before undeniably carries a certain risk, which could be exciting for some. Depending on the circumstances, this risk could become very real – or remain hypothetical if the person is behind bars.

A Dream Without Reality

With their object of desire behind bars for life, often without parole, most women who fall in love with convicted murderers are well aware of the limitations of their relationships. They know that a normal life together will never happen. While this lack of perspective may seem bleak for many, it also has its appeal. Hypothetical what-ifs forever replace the monotony and challenges of everyday partnerships. One can dream up their own reality, without ever having to face the truth of it.

Don’t Stop Believing…

While most criminals who attract the attention of hybristophiliacs are convicted and behind bars, their admirers often don’t share the court’s verdict. It is not uncommon for women who married convicted killers to passionately fight for a reopening of the case, firmly believing in their spouse’s innocence

This attempt to explain the root of hybristophilia may be the most relatable. In one way or another, most of us believe that people are capable of change. However, considering that many crimes aren’t simply the result of “one bad choice”, this might be highly idealistic.

Incarcerated and Idolized

Let’s step away from the women who love criminals and take a closer look at the men they’re attracted to. While the idea of women seeking a strong man to protect them may seem outdated in our modern times, it is not as far from reality as one might think. Numerous sources suggest that many women are, in fact, drawn to dominant, confident men.

Unsurprisingly, dominance and confidence are common traits among criminals, particularly serial killers. Setting aside their crimes and other deeply problematic attributes, these qualities can make them appealing to some.

Criminal Celebrity by Proxy

Yet another reason women may seek out criminals – especially those involved in high-profile cases – as romantic partners is their infamous status. Considering that most celebrities are far out of reach, establishing contact with a convicted criminal is surprisingly easy: a little research to find their prison and inmate number is enough to send a letter.

The hope of gaining some kind of celebrity status themselves may be enticing enough for some to feel drawn to convicted murderers. And there have indeed been several cases of women who became well-known due to their involvement with criminals – but more on that later.

From Causes to Cases: Famous Hybristophiliacs

The Original Serial Killer Groupie: Carole Ann Boone and Ted Bundy

While hybristophilia has likely existed much longer, the phenomenon of so-called “serial killer groupies” first gained attention during the trial of notorious serial killer Theodore “Ted” Bundy. Dozens of young women gathered outside the courthouse, some even dressing and styling themselves to resemble their idol’s victims.

One woman took it a step further. Carole Ann Boone first met Ted Bundy at their shared workplace and reconnected with him after his imprisonment. Their once-platonic relationship soon turned romantic, ultimately culminating in a very unusual courtroom wedding while Carole Ann was on the stand. Through bribing correctional officers, they managed to have conjugal visits, eventually leading to the birth of their daughter, Rose.

In numerous interviews, Carole Ann Boone vehemently insisted that her husband was innocent of the horrific crimes for which he had already been convicted and sentenced to death. She only came to realize the truth when Bundy tried to strike a deal with the prosecutor’s office, offering to disclose the burial sites of some of his victims.

Carole Ann Boone’s relationship to Ted Bundy reflects several possible causes of hybristophilia. Due to the gruesome nature of his crimes, the case received extensive media coverage, making the trial a high-profile event. Additionally, Bundy’s charisma – the trait that had allowed him to approach his victims – likely played a significant role. For years, Carole Ann firmly believed in her husband’s innocence and denied being in love with a serial killer. Moreover, some friends revealed that she had a history of unhappy relationships, which may have contributed, too.

After her divorce three years before Bundy’s execution, Carole Ann Boone changed her name and moved to another state. Her whereabouts and later life remain largely unknown. However, records indicate that she passed away in 2018 at the age of 70.

The Killer Who Turned TikTok Upside Down: Wade Wilson

A more recent example of – unexpectedly widespread – hybristophilia is the case of Wade Wilson. 

A textbook criminal with a long rap sheet, Wade Steven Wilson escalated his violent behavior when he murdered two women within 24 hours, both of whom he had met by chance that same day. However, the most shocking part was not the crime itself, but how the court proceedings unfolded on Social Media. 

Not long after Wilson’s initial appearance in the news, TikTok saw its first videos of him. Surprisingly, these didn’t focus on his horrific crimes, but on his looks: hundreds of women added dreamy music and filters to snippets of him in court, accompanied by captions like “I’m in love with a criminal”. His recently acquired facial tattoos, including a skeleton smile and even a swastika, seemed to only add to his image as a bad boy.

And his admirers didn’t stop there: Wade Wilson received thousands of letters from women, some with rather explicit content. Even the judge who ultimately sentenced him to death found themselves in the spotlight. Numerous fans of Wilson reached out, pleading for his life to be spared – so far, without success.

Undoubtedly, TikTok played a key role in fueling the hype around the convicted murderer. By creating and sharing content about him, many women constructed a false sense of closeness to Wilson, while also forming some sort of community. And there are more factors contributing to his popularity. His violent and seemingly senseless crimes, along with the extensive media attention, made him known beyond U.S. borders. Despite his facial tattoos, he possesses a certain charisma and can objectively be considered handsome. Moreover, his admirers share one belief: he is more than a criminal and they can change him.

Of Joker & Harley Quinn: Hybristophilia in Pop Culture

Like always, fiction mirrors reality, and hybristophilia is no exception. Forbidden relationships between criminals and oh-so-innocent, often young women fuel countless movies and books.

By far the most famous hybristophilia love story is that of Bonnie and Clyde. Based on the real-life case of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in the 1930s, their story has been adapted into numerous films. Over time, the couple became a symbol of unconditional, reckless love that defied societal norms. Reality was far less glamorous: Their love story – and their lives – ended in a brutal police ambush.

A more contemporary pop culture example of hybristophilia comes from a spin-off of the Batman saga. Psychiatrist Harley Quinn falls for her patient, the Joker, believing that she alone can fix him. After helping him escape from the mental asylum, they embark on a crime spree, spiraling into a contest of chaos and escalating madness.

While real-life hybristophilia is mostly passive, fiction often portrays it as a dangerous symbiosis that sooner or later leads to criminal action. Movies frequently portray the woman as having violent tendencies of her own, while the man serves as both mentor and catalyst. Moreover, hybristophilia is often romanticised and framed as thrilling, passionate and deeply emotional

The Reality of Hybristophilia (And What We Don’t Know)

Reality, however, is quite different. While hybristophilia is a very real phenomenon, it rarely leads to a happy and fulfilling relationship. Due to the social stigma surrounding it, much about it remains a mystery. 

In the end, hybristophilia is undoubtedly an unusual preference. Yet, though it may seem easy to judge, its causes are complex. Ultimately, attraction is personal and often difficult to explain. Some feel drawn to authority figures, while others – unsettling as it may seem – are captivated by convicted criminals.